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Whenever somebody's birthday rolls around, I often think that it should be their mother whose day is celebrated, since they are the ones that brought that person into the world. On Kyle's birthday, I thought of her kids who were the center of her life, and I silently thanked her mother, who graced the world with amazing, beautiful Kyle. No one can deny that the bond between mother and child is like no other, and an integral part of who we become. The older I get, the more important my relationship with my mother becomes. I no longer take her for granted, as many of us are prone to do, and I view her simple life lessons in a more profound way. I see different aspects of Kyle in each of her kids, and know that her legacy lives on in them. How fortunate, that they got to be raised and educated by someone like her, she was an incredibly good and loving mother, teacher and friend.
No matter what type of relationship we have with our moms in the course of our lifetimes, the fact remains that they are yours forever. Kyle's mother received the following poignant note from her during the bittersweet time when her kids were becoming young adults:
The other day while riding in the car, my heart was struck by the fact that although you are "Mom" to me now, at one time you were "Mama." "Mama" is the glue that holds little ones together. "Mama" means warmth, beauty and security. It is probably the most, no, it is the most important name a woman can have. Then something happens ... Mama becomes "Mom." Mom means hot food, clean laundry, transportation, a mindless, thankless slave. Mama hasn't changed, but her children have. They have grown up, and as pre-adults, they cannot admit that they need Mama's warmth, beauty and security ~ that would threaten their new identity as independent, worldly and so very wise individuals!
Now that I am a "Mama," I anticipate the pain of becoming a "Mom." I love being my children's warmth and security, it brings me so much joy, but someday, all too soon, I'll become little more, on the surface, than a waitress, maid and disciplinarian. Yeah, it's gonna hurt, but I'll take comfort knowing that deep down in their hearts I will always be, and they will always need "Mama." I know this because you are still my Mama and you are still warmth, beauty and security to me, and you always will be.
I hope that Mike & Lena always have their mother's ability to find and appreciate the important things in life, and know that she is always with them, present in their hearts and beings, guiding them with the wisdom she imparted.
My husband and I hiked up a mountain in honor of Kyle on her birthday. It was a glorious trip, during which we saw a rainbow, a brilliant sunset, and an enormous golden full moon rising in the blue and lavender sky behind the mountains. On the descent from the climb, I even saw a beautiful butterfly along the trail, reminding me that Kyle is present in all of the tiny and grand things that she found beauty in.
I will forever admire Kyle for her strength, friendship, and for the love and compassion that showed not only to her family, but to everyone around her. She definitely changed who I am, and I am grateful for her lessons and for the time that we got to spend together.
Kim Scholz
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